Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Moving On

As I mentioned before, my relationship just ended. We were together for almost three years, so it is difficult, but I know that it had to be done. I'm glad he finally had the courage to do it, because I don't know if I would have. I genuinely like him as a person and we do have a dog, so we are going to do our best to stay friendly. We both love our dog more than we probably should, so I'm not going to take the dog away from him. It's been difficult because I don't know how to feel. I feel sad because a relationship ended. I feel relieved because it finally ended. I feel nervous because now I have to date again. I really do want to be in a relationship and I do want to get married and have a family. I wasn't sure when I was in the relationship, but I know for sure now. I think we both knew that, together, we would not be successful parents, which is why I was so unsure before. I also feel sad because now I am alone in this house. We moved to Phoenix about six months ago and I do have friends here, but not a lot, and our schedules are so different. I joined some Meetup groups today, so maybe I'll meet more people soon. It's odd, because I am excited about meeting new people and eventually being in a successful relationship, but I still have so many overwhelming feelings about all this, many I don't feel totally comfortable revealing here. I am going to a therapist on Saturday because I don't want to feel the way I've been feeling. I want to be genuinely happy for myself and for him, but I am finding it difficult. With some work I know I will get through this and be a better person. I have to work on myself before I can continue to look for a mate. I added this picture to put a smile on my face. It was taken 6 years ago in Ireland. I obviously had a very good time. (I'm on the left and that is an earring on my face.)

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